understood me.
looked out.
pointed out the truth even when i didn't want to hear it.
and I felt so isolated and alone
because everyone was making sure
he wasn't
and they didn't understand.
and their blindness
added to my pain
soo
much
SO much pain
some days i cant deal with it
and i dont know how to help myself
or how to fix myself.
help me please.
A.
Thursday, 30 December 2010
Chrissie
this was the worst.
Hannah had told Chrissie everything on the day of.
she didn't contact me.
the next time she saw me was Rosie's birthday meal.
where she had a go at me for not contacting her.
then took me off to the loos with Hannah.
and told me
that I was lucky it had been will. because thats better than some stranger.
and that i was closer with him that they were so it was alright.
and that he was lonely.
and that I shouldn't of told all the people that I did
because if it got out then people wouldn't understand him.
Hannah agreed with her.
I wanted to cry. my friends. they let me down.
if they believed that. then they do not understand my pain.
I told her that I needed her
she didn't bother contacting me again.
A.
Hannah had told Chrissie everything on the day of.
she didn't contact me.
the next time she saw me was Rosie's birthday meal.
where she had a go at me for not contacting her.
then took me off to the loos with Hannah.
and told me
that I was lucky it had been will. because thats better than some stranger.
and that i was closer with him that they were so it was alright.
and that he was lonely.
and that I shouldn't of told all the people that I did
because if it got out then people wouldn't understand him.
Hannah agreed with her.
I wanted to cry. my friends. they let me down.
if they believed that. then they do not understand my pain.
I told her that I needed her
she didn't bother contacting me again.
A.
parents
the day that it happened
i removed will from my face book.
every picture of him removed. him deleted and blocked. every text message and email deleted. removed him from my msn. deleted his number.
i got at text from him that day
asking to come round so he could explain himself.
there is no excuse.
i told my dad that if will turned up he was not to be let in
nothing.
my parents obviously think that i am some pathetic child.
he started taking the piss out of me.. thinking we had had some argument and that we had fallen out.
took the piss.
he told my mum
and they took the piss together.
my mum forced me into telling her.
and i did not tell her it all just the basics.
i had the shakes
and she told me i was right that was unacceptable and not to let the basted grind you down.
she asked me if he had raped me.
i know it would of been alot worse if he had.
but the way she asked me was like if he didnt dont make a fuss.
she kept asking me if i was friends with him yet?
or talking to him yet?
or forgiven him yet.
she asked me if i was sure he was doing what i thought he was .. like with the same intention
i said that you didnt put your hand there if you weren't doing that.
an she told me she didnt want to know.
who do i turn to now?
who do i trust in?
who do i rely on?
A.
i removed will from my face book.
every picture of him removed. him deleted and blocked. every text message and email deleted. removed him from my msn. deleted his number.
i got at text from him that day
asking to come round so he could explain himself.
there is no excuse.
i told my dad that if will turned up he was not to be let in
nothing.
my parents obviously think that i am some pathetic child.
he started taking the piss out of me.. thinking we had had some argument and that we had fallen out.
took the piss.
he told my mum
and they took the piss together.
my mum forced me into telling her.
and i did not tell her it all just the basics.
i had the shakes
and she told me i was right that was unacceptable and not to let the basted grind you down.
she asked me if he had raped me.
i know it would of been alot worse if he had.
but the way she asked me was like if he didnt dont make a fuss.
she kept asking me if i was friends with him yet?
or talking to him yet?
or forgiven him yet.
she asked me if i was sure he was doing what i thought he was .. like with the same intention
i said that you didnt put your hand there if you weren't doing that.
an she told me she didnt want to know.
who do i turn to now?
who do i trust in?
who do i rely on?
A.
Josh
I told Josh at school.
he was helpful
but wanted to understand and wanted to talk to will.
make sure he didnt feel issolated
was going to make sure he got help
or he wouldnt be friends with him.
and would cut him out.
he talked to him
he talked to Hannah too.
i was told that will isnt going to get help because he wants to join the army and it would go on his record. but he was really sorry and stupid for doing it and really regrets it.
did Josh leave him.
no
he sits with him ever lunch and break at school. still best friends with him. jokes and messes around.
he told Hannah that he thought i would be friends with will again. - that said it all.
he has no idea how much seeing that hurts me.
DO i mean nothing?
does my pain mean noting to them?
A.
he was helpful
but wanted to understand and wanted to talk to will.
make sure he didnt feel issolated
was going to make sure he got help
or he wouldnt be friends with him.
and would cut him out.
he talked to him
he talked to Hannah too.
i was told that will isnt going to get help because he wants to join the army and it would go on his record. but he was really sorry and stupid for doing it and really regrets it.
did Josh leave him.
no
he sits with him ever lunch and break at school. still best friends with him. jokes and messes around.
he told Hannah that he thought i would be friends with will again. - that said it all.
he has no idea how much seeing that hurts me.
DO i mean nothing?
does my pain mean noting to them?
A.
C
he was going away on a trip with C that week.
so i didnt tell him
but
i so wanted to
because
he was the only one
who i knew how he would react.
he would protect me.
look after me. help me.
because he told me he cared about me and wanted to help me.
i didnt realise that was only when he thought he was going to get some action.
i told him the day that he come bk from the trip.
he reacted how i thought at wanted to hurt will. he didnt.
turns out he was all words.
i needed him so much.
i had difficulty sleeping all i could feel was wills hands on me.
i didnt feel safe. i woke up every hour to check i was still safe.
because now i didnt feel safe with even my family and
i couldnt rely on myself to keep me safe. because i was asleep
i cried myself to sleep every night for 3 weeks.
the only nights were i got some sleep were the ones where C texted me before i fell asleep
and then only time i didnt feel wills hands on me was when i imagined Cs hands around my waist.
when i made it clear to him that i didnt want a relationship or a thing
he cut me out, he stopped talking to me.
and i needed him so much.
but he thought his pain was greater than mine.
for years ive been putting my boys and my girls feelings first before mine because i dont want other people to hurt because i can take it and i dont want that for them.
and
no one could do it for me. and that hurt me so much.
in my time of need.
A.
so i didnt tell him
but
i so wanted to
because
he was the only one
who i knew how he would react.
he would protect me.
look after me. help me.
because he told me he cared about me and wanted to help me.
i didnt realise that was only when he thought he was going to get some action.
i told him the day that he come bk from the trip.
he reacted how i thought at wanted to hurt will. he didnt.
turns out he was all words.
i needed him so much.
i had difficulty sleeping all i could feel was wills hands on me.
i didnt feel safe. i woke up every hour to check i was still safe.
because now i didnt feel safe with even my family and
i couldnt rely on myself to keep me safe. because i was asleep
i cried myself to sleep every night for 3 weeks.
the only nights were i got some sleep were the ones where C texted me before i fell asleep
and then only time i didnt feel wills hands on me was when i imagined Cs hands around my waist.
when i made it clear to him that i didnt want a relationship or a thing
he cut me out, he stopped talking to me.
and i needed him so much.
but he thought his pain was greater than mine.
for years ive been putting my boys and my girls feelings first before mine because i dont want other people to hurt because i can take it and i dont want that for them.
and
no one could do it for me. and that hurt me so much.
in my time of need.
A.
Rosie
i told Rosie online over msn
and because she has had a pretty easy life with a good home and is bright and pretty.
she didnt understand.
i think her response was "thats twisted".
she has been there for me.
not me and him
no him
but
me
and she is the only one out of my 7 who has been
and i really needed her
i still do.
because shes the only one i have left.
out of the ones i loved and trusted so much.
Daphne
im not sure how much she got, like how much she understood my pain. but she made it clear that she was and would always be there. which is what i needed.
and it really
really means a lot.
and its so easy to smile and laugh around her .
but im not sure if my heart will ever smile again.
A.
and because she has had a pretty easy life with a good home and is bright and pretty.
she didnt understand.
i think her response was "thats twisted".
she has been there for me.
not me and him
no him
but
me
and she is the only one out of my 7 who has been
and i really needed her
i still do.
because shes the only one i have left.
out of the ones i loved and trusted so much.
Daphne
im not sure how much she got, like how much she understood my pain. but she made it clear that she was and would always be there. which is what i needed.
and it really
really means a lot.
and its so easy to smile and laugh around her .
but im not sure if my heart will ever smile again.
A.
Hannah
Hannah was the other part of our group. Me, him and her.
I was terrified to tell her because I was sure she wouldn't believe me. It was difficult for me to accept. let alone someone who had known him since primary. and it hadn't happened to.
Alaine had texted her asking her to please believe me because its the truth.
and
she listened.
and she told me what she "would" of done. and yeh
she supported me.
but i don't think she still believes or accepts it 100%. still.
she took me out in her car. and i explained what i could. but i still feel like she took it too well to believe it as the truth.
we went back to mine and i gave her everything that will had given or lent to me.
i didn't want it.
now I wish I had kept it and smashed it. i think i deserved that.
she took it back to him and talked to him.
and
she told me all about how he was so sorry and cut up.
there is No excuse for what he did.
none.
nothing even comes close.
to be honest im pretty sure that she only believed me and still sees me because he admitted to it.
if he had denied it, i dont think she would of come through for me.
and she still sees him
still talks to him .
goes round his house.
she dropped hints about how she wished we were still friends
asked me if i had talked to him recently
she acted like we had had an argument. or like it was both our faults equally.
each time she asked. it cut me. it really hurt.
because if you can ask that
and do that
then you have no
no understanding of my pain.
i eventually told her things were never going to change between me and him and that I never wanted to hear about him again.
another friend that I needed more than ever.
was too busy making sure he didn't feel isolated.
A.
I was terrified to tell her because I was sure she wouldn't believe me. It was difficult for me to accept. let alone someone who had known him since primary. and it hadn't happened to.
Alaine had texted her asking her to please believe me because its the truth.
and
she listened.
and she told me what she "would" of done. and yeh
she supported me.
but i don't think she still believes or accepts it 100%. still.
she took me out in her car. and i explained what i could. but i still feel like she took it too well to believe it as the truth.
we went back to mine and i gave her everything that will had given or lent to me.
i didn't want it.
now I wish I had kept it and smashed it. i think i deserved that.
she took it back to him and talked to him.
and
she told me all about how he was so sorry and cut up.
there is No excuse for what he did.
none.
nothing even comes close.
to be honest im pretty sure that she only believed me and still sees me because he admitted to it.
if he had denied it, i dont think she would of come through for me.
and she still sees him
still talks to him .
goes round his house.
she dropped hints about how she wished we were still friends
asked me if i had talked to him recently
she acted like we had had an argument. or like it was both our faults equally.
each time she asked. it cut me. it really hurt.
because if you can ask that
and do that
then you have no
no understanding of my pain.
i eventually told her things were never going to change between me and him and that I never wanted to hear about him again.
another friend that I needed more than ever.
was too busy making sure he didn't feel isolated.
A.
Av
I walked from Fous to the station with Av.
I opened up to him. because I was totally lost.
He was the first person to suggest that it was assault.
and he was supportive then
and there which was what I needed.
he felt bad because he didn't know and he left me crying because he thought it was over C.
He suggested I should go to the police. I didn't want to. because I knew what that would do to Will. And his mum.
He wanted to talk to will. help him get help. not let him feel isolated.
over the next few weeks he kept telling me what i should be doing nad how i should be feeling. from something he had read on the recovery or rape victims. he thought it would be similar.
what he doesn't know is that after I got on the train. I cried all the way home. on the train. openly. tears flowing. people staring.
it didn't matter. nothing mattered.
A.
I opened up to him. because I was totally lost.
He was the first person to suggest that it was assault.
and he was supportive then
and there which was what I needed.
he felt bad because he didn't know and he left me crying because he thought it was over C.
He suggested I should go to the police. I didn't want to. because I knew what that would do to Will. And his mum.
He wanted to talk to will. help him get help. not let him feel isolated.
over the next few weeks he kept telling me what i should be doing nad how i should be feeling. from something he had read on the recovery or rape victims. he thought it would be similar.
what he doesn't know is that after I got on the train. I cried all the way home. on the train. openly. tears flowing. people staring.
it didn't matter. nothing mattered.
A.
questions.
He wouldn't of told me.
He would of just carried on normally with his life. being my friend. with me none the wiser.
doesn't that make you sick?
doesn't that make you question everything?
everything and everyone?
who do I trust if I cant trust my best friends?
im was closer with them than I am with my family? doesn't that mean my I shouldn't trust my family?
Who do I trust?
has he done this before?
too me? - he didnt exactly hesitate before he did what he did.
to others? - he once told us he had done somethings he wasnt proud of. but never told us what. was it things like this?
how far would he of gone if i hadnt stopped him?
would he of stopped by himself?
what do I do?
My best friend. One of My boys. My attacker.
A.
He would of just carried on normally with his life. being my friend. with me none the wiser.
doesn't that make you sick?
doesn't that make you question everything?
everything and everyone?
who do I trust if I cant trust my best friends?
im was closer with them than I am with my family? doesn't that mean my I shouldn't trust my family?
Who do I trust?
has he done this before?
too me? - he didnt exactly hesitate before he did what he did.
to others? - he once told us he had done somethings he wasnt proud of. but never told us what. was it things like this?
how far would he of gone if i hadnt stopped him?
would he of stopped by himself?
what do I do?
My best friend. One of My boys. My attacker.
A.
confrontation
i took myself off to the kitchen. and got tea with some others.
faking my smile.
all the time my head was going
what do I do?
what did he do when I was asleep?
what could he of done at Marks when I was asleep?
How could he do this too me?
Why?
How dare he.
At that point he walked into the kitchen. i felt sick again.
him there. that close to me. i took myself away to the living room. where that bastered had the nerve to follow me.
How dare he
whats the matter??
i felt sick to my stomach. Disgusted.
in a sort of calm rage with a mixture of terror and pure white rage I explained without looking at him, that I had been awake when Jasmin had gone home and Alaine and Daphne had left. His response
"am in trouble?"
at that point I got up and walked out.
my last words to him were
your in trouble.
I cant even look at you.
to this day i don't know how i coped at that time.
but i show myself that i can get through anything. and do anything i have to.
He quickly left.
A.
faking my smile.
all the time my head was going
what do I do?
what did he do when I was asleep?
what could he of done at Marks when I was asleep?
How could he do this too me?
Why?
How dare he.
At that point he walked into the kitchen. i felt sick again.
him there. that close to me. i took myself away to the living room. where that bastered had the nerve to follow me.
How dare he
whats the matter??
i felt sick to my stomach. Disgusted.
in a sort of calm rage with a mixture of terror and pure white rage I explained without looking at him, that I had been awake when Jasmin had gone home and Alaine and Daphne had left. His response
"am in trouble?"
at that point I got up and walked out.
my last words to him were
your in trouble.
I cant even look at you.
to this day i don't know how i coped at that time.
but i show myself that i can get through anything. and do anything i have to.
He quickly left.
A.
The dark
I sat in the darkness
crying
for the rest of the night. Determined to stay awake, to protect myself.
i texted Hannah I need you
but she wasn't awake.
I cried myself to sleep. and when I woke up.
and when I woke up.
He was on the sofa next to me.
A.
crying
for the rest of the night. Determined to stay awake, to protect myself.
i texted Hannah I need you
but she wasn't awake.
I cried myself to sleep. and when I woke up.
and when I woke up.
He was on the sofa next to me.
A.
broken
I walked out that room and had no idea what to do. there were so many thoughts going through my head. all at once.
I didn't dare tell Josh or the other guys because I knew/hoped they would have confronted him and kicked him out. And after that. I was still concerned about him.
Daphne and Alaine had just come back and were about to go back into the room. I wouldn't of told them if they hadn't gone to go back into the bed with him.
I took them off to the kitchen and told them both what had happened. I was having difficulty standing and my head was still spinning from what had just happened. and I ended up breaking a bottle. Fou came in and told us to leave and was angry. i was practically hysterical inside but kept control.
So i stopped the girls from going in. But had no idea what to do.
im pretty sure they didn't know what to do with me ether.
so we just went back and sat in the lounge with the others. Will stayed in the bedroom. alone.
it was dark. so none in the lounge could see the flood of tears flowing down my face.
Alaine saw and she knew and she whipped them away. but sometimes there are just too many tears.
if they did see they assumed it was over C. and nothing to worry about.
Barney had been sick and past out in the other lounge so when people started to fall asleep I took myself in there. I had no plans to sleep. no where was safe. I told everyone I was keeping an eye on Barney.
that night my heart broke. shattered. the pieces which I had been so careful of.
all broke.
nothing left.
A.
I didn't dare tell Josh or the other guys because I knew/hoped they would have confronted him and kicked him out. And after that. I was still concerned about him.
Daphne and Alaine had just come back and were about to go back into the room. I wouldn't of told them if they hadn't gone to go back into the bed with him.
I took them off to the kitchen and told them both what had happened. I was having difficulty standing and my head was still spinning from what had just happened. and I ended up breaking a bottle. Fou came in and told us to leave and was angry. i was practically hysterical inside but kept control.
So i stopped the girls from going in. But had no idea what to do.
im pretty sure they didn't know what to do with me ether.
so we just went back and sat in the lounge with the others. Will stayed in the bedroom. alone.
it was dark. so none in the lounge could see the flood of tears flowing down my face.
Alaine saw and she knew and she whipped them away. but sometimes there are just too many tears.
if they did see they assumed it was over C. and nothing to worry about.
Barney had been sick and past out in the other lounge so when people started to fall asleep I took myself in there. I had no plans to sleep. no where was safe. I told everyone I was keeping an eye on Barney.
that night my heart broke. shattered. the pieces which I had been so careful of.
all broke.
nothing left.
A.
Assault
He lifted up my covers and my top. and started running his hand up and up and down my spine.
I was confused, shocked, couldn't breath, not sure if i should turn around and punch him or what to do. I knew if I asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing then he would freak out and run of because he would be scared what the others would do to him. I couldn't move.
this was not normal. it continued for a bit because I was just so paralysed with shock and fear.
then he started moving his hand lower down my spine. To my lower back.
this was my best friend.
I did the only thing I could think of. and rolled as if I was still asleep. He leaped back and pretended to be asleep just encase "I woke up".
this was my chance to him. my chance to stop him, let him come to his senses and pretend like it had never happened.
in my rolled I had stupidly tried to move away from him and I was now lying on my front.
He came back at me again. because I had rolled on my front there was more of my back for him to get to.
this time he lifted up my cover again.
stroked and ran his hands up and down me. again. but then stopped.
I thought it was over. I was wrong.
he then lifted up the covers to my lower back.
again
with the stroking. this time
prominently on my lower back and getting lower. this time he was inside my trousers at the back. continuing in the same manner.
I was utterly paralysed and sick to my stomach. I didn't know what to do or what to think.
then. he continued into my knickers. At that point. is was not going to take any more. he had lost his chance. And I rolled over again. this time making sure I was as far away as possible. and as covered and wrapped up as I could be.
Not wanting to stay there I pretended that I had got a text and "woke up". said I needed to find Alaine. and as i walked out he asked are you okay? in some caring and concerned tone.
A.
I was confused, shocked, couldn't breath, not sure if i should turn around and punch him or what to do. I knew if I asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing then he would freak out and run of because he would be scared what the others would do to him. I couldn't move.
this was not normal. it continued for a bit because I was just so paralysed with shock and fear.
then he started moving his hand lower down my spine. To my lower back.
this was my best friend.
I did the only thing I could think of. and rolled as if I was still asleep. He leaped back and pretended to be asleep just encase "I woke up".
this was my chance to him. my chance to stop him, let him come to his senses and pretend like it had never happened.
in my rolled I had stupidly tried to move away from him and I was now lying on my front.
He came back at me again. because I had rolled on my front there was more of my back for him to get to.
this time he lifted up my cover again.
stroked and ran his hands up and down me. again. but then stopped.
I thought it was over. I was wrong.
he then lifted up the covers to my lower back.
again
with the stroking. this time
prominently on my lower back and getting lower. this time he was inside my trousers at the back. continuing in the same manner.
I was utterly paralysed and sick to my stomach. I didn't know what to do or what to think.
then. he continued into my knickers. At that point. is was not going to take any more. he had lost his chance. And I rolled over again. this time making sure I was as far away as possible. and as covered and wrapped up as I could be.
Not wanting to stay there I pretended that I had got a text and "woke up". said I needed to find Alaine. and as i walked out he asked are you okay? in some caring and concerned tone.
A.
.
moving across from the other side of the bed Will leaded over me and whispered "A are you awake?"
I was. and I figured he just wanted to talk so ignored him and carried on pretending to be asleep. I had my back to him.
What he did next has forced me to rethink and re-evaluate everything I have ever trusted in, relied on, helped and had faith in.
A.
I was. and I figured he just wanted to talk so ignored him and carried on pretending to be asleep. I had my back to him.
What he did next has forced me to rethink and re-evaluate everything I have ever trusted in, relied on, helped and had faith in.
A.
That night.
It was half term and it was one of the few holidays were we didn't have to revise for exams so everyone meet up and there were quite a few parties.
first Marks im not sure how much others enjoyed it. But I had a good time. I had just ended my "thing" with C, I was upset so got pretty drunk and ended up going to sleep earlier than others.
I feel asleep in Marks bed. First Josh came in and he was also very drunk. we chatted about his girlfriend and as soon as he left I was asleep again.
A few hours later Will crawled in. And I fell asleep in till the morning.
nothing out of the ordinary.
I think it was two days later that we all meet up again for a gathering round Fou's. at first it was fun. But as I was still hung up on the guy we all got drunk again. I ended up crying over him again and took myself off to the spare room to go to sleep. There was a double bed but Daphne, Alaine and Will were already in there because they all wanted to sleep too.
so I got some sleeping bags and lay down on the floor between the sofa and the wall. there wasn't much room but I didn't care because I was crying over C.
So they were all in the bed with me on the floor next to them. it all went quite for a bit and I tried to get some sleep. not long after that Jasmin came in because she didn't feel very well and wanted to go home. Daphne and Alaine offered to walk her home so left the room.
leaving just me and him. at the time I didn't think it was a problem - seeing as I had spent the whole night with him just a few days earlier.
A.
first Marks im not sure how much others enjoyed it. But I had a good time. I had just ended my "thing" with C, I was upset so got pretty drunk and ended up going to sleep earlier than others.
I feel asleep in Marks bed. First Josh came in and he was also very drunk. we chatted about his girlfriend and as soon as he left I was asleep again.
A few hours later Will crawled in. And I fell asleep in till the morning.
nothing out of the ordinary.
I think it was two days later that we all meet up again for a gathering round Fou's. at first it was fun. But as I was still hung up on the guy we all got drunk again. I ended up crying over him again and took myself off to the spare room to go to sleep. There was a double bed but Daphne, Alaine and Will were already in there because they all wanted to sleep too.
so I got some sleeping bags and lay down on the floor between the sofa and the wall. there wasn't much room but I didn't care because I was crying over C.
So they were all in the bed with me on the floor next to them. it all went quite for a bit and I tried to get some sleep. not long after that Jasmin came in because she didn't feel very well and wanted to go home. Daphne and Alaine offered to walk her home so left the room.
leaving just me and him. at the time I didn't think it was a problem - seeing as I had spent the whole night with him just a few days earlier.
A.
Background
ive never really got on with my family, and after my grandma died none of us were able to support each other through our pain. And we all dealt with it differently. E forced herself to forget everything, my mum felt as if she suffered the worst pain, worst than all of us. And its not for me to say who felt the worst of suffered the most. but none of us supported the other. my dad .. I don't know was just there in the background. And me, I tried to not give up and convinced myself that it hadn't happened. because of that it took along time for me to come to terms with anything. and by that time it was difficult to be a family.
Because of this I was very dependent of my friends. Through the majority of secondary school there had been the 7 of us. My girls and My boys.
Me, Chrissie, Hannah, Rosie, Josh, Will and Marv.
when we started 6th form the group not so much split up, but gradually we all drifted away. I always saw myself as the bridge of the group and the one that everyone leaned on when they needed to and sometimes the peace keeper.
So when others drifted I remained. I still talked to them all. kept in touch and kept an eye on them. I became very close with Hannah and Will. It was great and I loved it. I think it would be fair to say that we were the 3 in the group who had the biggest home issues. It meant that we could understand each other.
A.
Because of this I was very dependent of my friends. Through the majority of secondary school there had been the 7 of us. My girls and My boys.
Me, Chrissie, Hannah, Rosie, Josh, Will and Marv.
when we started 6th form the group not so much split up, but gradually we all drifted away. I always saw myself as the bridge of the group and the one that everyone leaned on when they needed to and sometimes the peace keeper.
So when others drifted I remained. I still talked to them all. kept in touch and kept an eye on them. I became very close with Hannah and Will. It was great and I loved it. I think it would be fair to say that we were the 3 in the group who had the biggest home issues. It meant that we could understand each other.
A.
Wednesday, 29 December 2010
Intro
This is my story. On October 29th 2010 I became the victim of a sexual assault.
I am 17. and my attacker was my best friend.
Nothing I write in this blog will be a lie and I want you to know that every word I write will hurt me. Because remembering is painful.
But I need to do this to fix myself.
The majority of this will be and account of what happened, but as horrific as that was, alot of my pain was caused by others reaction to my assault.
A.
I am 17. and my attacker was my best friend.
Nothing I write in this blog will be a lie and I want you to know that every word I write will hurt me. Because remembering is painful.
But I need to do this to fix myself.
The majority of this will be and account of what happened, but as horrific as that was, alot of my pain was caused by others reaction to my assault.
A.
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