broken

I walked out that room and had no idea what to do. there were so many thoughts going through my head. all at once.

I didn't dare tell Josh or the other guys because I knew/hoped they would have confronted him and kicked him out. And after that. I was still concerned about him.

Daphne and Alaine had just come back and were about to go back into the room. I wouldn't of told them if they hadn't gone to go back into the bed with him.
I took them off to the kitchen and told them both what had happened. I was having difficulty standing and my head was still spinning from what had just happened. and I ended up breaking a bottle. Fou came in and told us to leave and was angry. i was practically hysterical inside but kept control.
So i stopped the girls from going in. But had no idea what to do.
im pretty sure they didn't know what to do with me ether.

so we just went back and sat in the lounge with the others. Will stayed in the bedroom. alone.
it was dark. so none in the lounge could see the flood of tears flowing down my face.
Alaine saw and she knew and she whipped them away. but sometimes there are just too many tears.
if they did see they assumed it was over C. and nothing to worry about.

Barney had been sick and past out in the other lounge so when people started to fall asleep I took myself in there. I had no plans to sleep. no where was safe. I told everyone I was keeping an eye on Barney.

that night my heart broke. shattered. the pieces which I had been so careful of.
all broke.
nothing left.
A.